Need a partner...

I did an assesment of myself as to what are my chances to be succesfull in starting a business based on my personality and character. I learnt that I am one that needs a (business) partner for encouragement and movitation, one that needs someone to fill in gaps when I am not 100%. Then I reflect the past 5 years of my life as a full-time "stay-at-home" mother. Yes, I can see times when I am 105% motivated and encouraged, working late into nights creating and printing worksheets and activities to help my boys learn. Yes, I can see times when I draw out structure and plan my kids around my chores to make cooking and baking together fun. Yes, I can see times when I go to libraries and get children books only to enforce a particular subjects. I remember the parenting books I read that helped my make sense of babies, then toddlers, and pre-schoolers.

But also, yes, I can see the gap in between where, as much as I love my boys, I wanted a break. I can see periods where I rely on their kinder and learning centre to teach them good behaviour and academic skills. I can see times where I hoped exsposure to God and the Bible an hour in Sunday School a week will help them to grow to be good men.

I realise, regardless of what my "job" is at the moment, whether it is mothering, coordinating Sunday School, or paid... I would always need to surround myself with people that could empower me, encourage me, and cheer me on when I am not 100%. As embarassing it is for me to admit, I rely on great relationship with inspiring people.
I do pray, that when I am at my 105%, I too in turn can do my share in encouraging, inspiring, and empowering my fellow mother friends. It is a big job being a mom, and we all struggle to be a good one. Blessings.

Dig It Up

I have a lot on my mind. Something is bugging me. I can not expect anyone else to do resolve my issues, I need to do something about my own situation. I need to tend to my own inner garden…which seems to be in a mess.

I love my kids, and spending time with them. But years on, I really do enjoy the times when I do not have them around, when I can just lay back with a motivating, spiritually lifting book. When I have time to look through a design magazine and marvel of how did they create something like that. Half of the programs designers use now, I have never seen before. The softwares I use to be familiar with are at least ten versions outdated.

I love being just a mom, but now, it isn’t enough for me.

I need to start thinking about digging back the skills and talent I buried when I traded my career for motherhood. I will not flip around 180 degrees and trade back motherhood for a career re-launch, but perhaps find a middle ground, where I still be with my kids and do the things with them that only I can make impact with, yet also make the time to develop myself. Some friends think that I am good with children and suggested to make them as part of my career: get a certificate in Children Services or work in the education sector. I don’t think that I am that good with kids; being able to work with them is a requirement to fill my responsibility now that I am a parent.

Instead I am going to start digging into my past. Brush the rust off. Perhaps there is still something worth digging for.

Mother's Day at Kinder

I can still remember the first day of Kinder for Malakai.  He has been so excited about starting Kinder where he will be a "big boy" and cycling to "school".  He packed his own snack, chose his bag, and rehearsed greeting his teachers by name with a big smile.

His social fear took over as soon as he steps into the glass door that separates the Kinder area.  He clung unto my legs really tight.  His smile replaced by the look of anxiety.  Since toddler, Malakai has never been really good coming into group situation, he would rather leave the toy he loves to play with than having to be around other kids.

Today, he is still far from being a sociable child, he still needs constant encouragement and prompting to greet others; but he have certainly grown, and I am proud of his efforts.  As his mom, it is my job to continue to work very hard to help him with his social skills and confidence - and I am very happy to do so.

One of the very special item I was presented with for Mother's Day is a library bag with his drawing on it.  It is a happy picture of him cycling and me walking behind him.   Something we do together regularly, something he enjoys.  Gone are the frustration of getting him ready to Kinder on time and convincing that a car ride is the better option than cycling in the cold.  

I am really blessed to be part of this journey with him. 
Happy Mother's Day indeed.

KiaSu Mum...

In my desperation and concern with my son's lack of interest in literacy at his kindy. I decided to take matters into my own hand. After all, who is better to teach a child than his mother?
I have been teaching my son block letters since he was young, and now he is asked to sign in to kindy using Victorian Script, he is quite thrown out.
I downloaded the Victorian Mod Script font from the Department of Education website, install it on my PC, and made worksheets for tracing.
Fingers crossed that I am commited to this and have the patience to assist my son to have better start in school...

thinking about Kinder...

I haven’t blog for a while now and actually miss doing it.  If I may say, the last few months have been extremely busy with my parent’s visiting and my brother plus his wife moving in with us.   Apart from adjusting to life with housemates, since my last entry, I’ve been quite caught up with big events:
The boys’ birthdays, enrolling them in Early Learning centres, Ethan and Niel finally threw out their dummies, kinder orientation, Christmas parties, New Years events, trying to get the boys out of the house more, researching prep schools for Malakai, researching epilators for myself, and also planning for coordinating Sunday School this year.

It has certainly been very busy and I don’t see things calming down that we decided to put Ethan and Niel to childcare two days a week this year.  I do feel guilty for doing this, but mainly it is because starting Kinder is a major hurdle in Malakai’s life (and mine).  It is officially our first “school” with set starting time and finish time.  I am now thinking how do I get everyone to eat breakfast and be ready, hauling a pre-schooler and two toddlers to be at kinder 10 minutes before the 8.15 starting time?!  That is way too early for me.  Childcare is easier, if we didn't have time to feed at home - they’ll feed them there, but not Kinder.  The kids need to have their breakfast and sandwich packed by the time Kinder starts. 

This is not only a challenge for Malakai, but also for me:  a test for my time management and parenting skills.  Have I successfully taught him social skills? Will he greet his teachers and play nicely with friends or will he cry and cling to me for dear life?  Will he be able to take out his lunch box and eat his sandwich without me prodding him to sit down and finish his food? Will he be able to take instructions from the teacher and have enough concentration skills to do an assignment?  I have taken him to the library since he was a toddler, will he participate in group activities and know his songs and nursery rhymes?  I’ve been actively conversing with him in Indonesian and only lately in English so that he will be bi-lingual… does he knows enough English to thrive in Kinder?  Aaaah… starting Kinder is definitely as stressful it is to parents as it is to the child.  I agree.